The Many Faces of Caleb....

We Have Made A Decision!!

After much prayer, talking, waiting, and more praying, we have a made a decision about how to proceed with our next adoption. We have decided to adopt a girl, ages 1-4 from Ethiopia. We are also requesting a girl that is HIV positive. For this reason, we are using a different agency than we used for our first adoption. We love America World and they were wonderful to work with. We will continue to represent them as associates and speak on their behalf as they truly care about orphans and provide families with a wonderful, Christ based adoption experience. However, because of the calling that God put in our heart (and it was only from Him....more about this later) to pursue a child with HIV, we decided to select an agency that had an adoption program specifically for children with HIV. There are several agencies that have such a program, but we have decided to use Adoption Advocates International, a small agency in Washington, for our second adoption. They have placed many, many, children with HIV and their coordinator, an adoptive parent to children with HIV, has been wonderful to work with. We have also communicated with several families who have used AAI to adopt children with HIV, and they spoke very highly of the agency. So, we confidently sent off our application a few weeks ago, and we are now in the midst of the paper chase- we even have our first home study visit scheduled!

So, back to the idea that the calling to adopt a child with HIV was something God put in our hearts. Back in the fall God led me to the following passage: The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love- Galatians 5:6. I began to ask the Lord how he would have me love others through faith in Him. Of course, there are numerous ways we can do this each day, and these ways are no less important. I just felt that God was leading me to love through faith in a specific way- in a way that stretched my faith and put me way out of my comfort zone. In a way that, to be honest, I really didn't want to visit or think about. I questioned this for some time before sharing my feelings with Zack. I kept reading Galatians 5:6 over and over and then I thought about James 1:27 over and over, and I realized, God is calling us to care for orphans with a love that we can only give to others through faith in Him. So, I told Zack that I felt that God was calling us to adopt a child who may not be healthy, who may need care for the rest of their life. I told him I felt God was calling us to adopt a child with HIV. The cool part is, I have a husband who doesn't put God in a box, so he didn't freak out, he just wanted a little bit of time to think and pray about it. After a few days, he too felt this was something God would have us to do. Not because of who we are, but all because of who God is.

So, we are adopting a child with HIV. We are doing this by drawing all of our strength from the Lord, by putting all our dependence on Him, and by praying, a lot! I admit, it is a scary thing at times, and the devil would like nothing more than to cause us to doubt that we serve a God big enough to do this- so we resist the fiery darts of fear that he throws at us with our shield of faith- praise God! There is no fear in God's love! We remind ourselves of this on a daily basis.

And here is more exciting news- science and medicine have made great advances in the treatment of HIV, very great! For example, did you know that with the proper treatment, the HIV viral load can become undetectable in blood tests?! This doesn't mean that the HIV is gone, but it does mean that it can be managed to the point that those infected can live a very normal life. Another fact- Children with HIV are perfectly safe to be around, hug, kiss, and share food and bathrooms with. For this reason, generally people with HIV are not required by law to tell anyone about their condition- even school and dentists. Here is another great fact- With treatment, children with HIV are now expected to have basically the same lifespan as "normal" children ! Praise God! There are so many other things about HIV I would love to share now, but I will save it for subsequent posts :)

I am going to be adding new links to the right side of the blog that deal specifically with HIV. Today I have added a link to a wonderful site called Positively Adopted. Check it out- it is full of great resources, family stories, etc.

One final note- For us, the hardest part of the decision to adopt a child with HIV has been how to deal with disclosing the HIV status. Unfortunately, as well all know, people infected with HIV face many social stigmas. Of course we don't want our child to be victim to these stigmas, but we also don't want her to feel shame or guild over the fact that she has HIV and wonder why mommy and daddy don't want anyone to know. We don't want her to feel as though she has to live behind the shadow of HIV. So, we have decided on a moderate view of disclosure, I guess you could say. We by no means will be shouting from the rooftop that our child has HIV every time we walk into a room. On the other hand, we do not plan to purposely hide it from our family and friends and those who truly care for our family. I consider those who read this blog to care about adoption, so I therefore assume they care about children, all children, which is why I feel free to share this information here.

Well, there you have it! We hope to have our home study finished by late February or early March. Approval from USCIS is taking around 90 days now, so the earliest we would hope to send our dossier to Ethiopia would be June, most likely. We are unsure of how long it will take to receive a referral, but most likely we will at least know of our daughter this year, and who knows, she may even be home with us in 2010 :)

We ask for your prayers, even at this early stage. Because of the age range we have requested, we know that our daughter is somewhere in Ethiopia at this very moment, waiting for us! Boy won't she be happy when she sees what a cute brother she has :)

Waiting and Praying....

So......we are waiting and praying in terms of our second adoption. I will say that we are going to begin sooner than we thought, most likely in the next month, God willing! The Lord has put an urgency in our heart that can only have come from Him. We thought we were sure about the direction the Lord would have us to go, then a door partially opened that took us quite by surprise. We are investigating that option right now and praying through it. We desperately want to follow God's leading!

In other news.....Caleb is growing and growing and talking and talking! He is saying new words and phrases every day! Tonight we were at Wal-Mart and he saw a picture of a boy eating pizza. He poked me and said, "Mama! Boy eating pizza!" and pointed at the picture. I was amazed!

We have talked with Caleb quite a bit about the adoption and he is very excited to have a sibling....we will see if that is the case when we actually bring him/her home :)

Also wanted to add- pray, pray, pray for the people in Haiti- I can not imagine the devastation and despair- if you want to help, KLOVE has a page with some links to some great organizations that are providing aid.

A Very Special Christmas...

We are so very thankful for the gift of God's son, and for the gift our special son, Caleb.

God's Gift

Little baby on the hay

Soon there will be another day

When nails shall pierce your hands and feet

As you provide our sin's defeat

Risen Jesus on the throne

We lift our praise to you alone

For you're the gift that we receive

The moment that our hearts believe

-Roy Lessin

Our First Meeting....

One year ago today Zack and I were riding in a van down a bumpy road with a racing heart and sweaty palms.....we were on our way to meet our son! I can't quite express the thoughts and feelings that were going through our hearts and minds during that time, but I can tell you it is a moment we will never forget. When we pulled through the gate and saw the transition home, I thought my heart would explode! We had decided that the families would go in alphabetical order by last name- that meant we were number two in line! When our time came we stood anxiously looking at a door, knowing that the moment we saw our son carried through that door our lives would be changed forever. I still remember his little face. He had just woken from a nap and the sun was so bright that he squinted his little eyes. I remember it all like it was yesterday. That day is still so clear and vivid in my mind. And now it has been a year.

He still squints his eyes when he awakes from his nap- I love that! But so much has changed for him and for us. We have seen him blossom from a scared and unsure baby to a vibrant and lively little man! We have seen Caleb thrive this past year. It has been amazing to watch him grow, learn, love, and live. When we think about where he started as a tiny 5 month old baby found all alone, and how far he has come, it makes us so grateful. We could not imagine our lives without Caleb......

Caleb is not the only one who has undergone change- I have to smile when I think of those first few days and nights in Ethiopia with Caleb. We really had no idea what we were doing. There is actually one picture where I am changing Caleb's diaper and he has diaper rash creme all over his arm...I had no clue how to be a mom- but I learned :) And Zack learned. It was a trial by fire, but we learned, grew, and are better people for it. Of course, we have tons more to learn, but I when I see how far we have also come, I am so thankful.

Perhaps what is the most amazing aspect of all of this is that God took three people, all very different, all very much in need of love, all with very much love to give. We lived thousands of miles apart, and would come together through a series of events coming together at just the right moment, at just the right time. God worked through all these things and and made these three people into a family. What also is amazing is that he would allow Zack and I the opportunity to experience this most amazing journey of adoption and then give us the most amazing child in the world :) What is amazing is that he not only does this for us here on this earth, but also for eternity, by adopting us into his heavenly family through his Son, Jesus. It is simply amazing.

So, we celebrate this special day, and also celebrate all that God has done for us and continues to do for us. He is simply amazing.

Birthday Pictures.....

Finally, I can upload some pictures from Caleb's birthday . Caleb had such a wonderful time at his party. Many of his church friends were there and they had a great time playing. My favorite part was when we all sang Happy Birthday to him. He had the sweetest look on his face....almost like he couldn't believe everyone was singing to him. I was proud of how well he let all the other children help him open his gifts and even play with his new toys. He is a sweet boy. We are blessed!

Caleb is also loving the Christmas season. He loves all the decorations, lights and Santa Clause. He also loves the Christmas parties! I think he has been to at least 3 already :) We try to talk with him each day about the true meaning of Christmas. Because he just had a birthday, he still thinks that Christmas has something to do with his birthday, but today when I asked him whose birthday we celebrate on Christmas, he said "Jesus!" So, I think he is getting it.

Caleb Meets Santa and Celebrates His 2nd Birthday!!!

This past weekend was a busy one for the Caldwell family! Caleb met Santa for the first time, and celebrated his 2nd birthday with family and friends. Unfortunately I am having technical problems so I can't upload the birthday pics... so I will wait until I can upload those to tell you about his birthday- he had an awesome time!

So, back to meeting Santa....Caleb understands who Santa is and what he does, and he was very excited to meet him. When he first saw him at a distance, Caleb was so excited! He looked up at me and smiled as if to say, "Wow- that's Santa!". Then, the closer we got and the more Caleb realized that the point was for him to sit in Santa's lap, the more panic stricken and fearful Caleb became :). All of a sudden, he wanted nothing to do with Santa! Wouldn't even go near him! So we let Santa take a little break and Caleb and I sat in the big chair (this was in hopes that Santa could sneak up behind us and at least be in the picture). As you can see from the pictures , this worked, until Caleb realized Santa was back there....then you can also see what happened :)

Eventually Caleb did calm down long enough to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas, and Santa even got a little smile out of Caleb. It was a memorable first meeting :) Don't worry, Caleb also knows the true meaning of Christmas and about Baby Jesus. He met him too- at our manger scene at church :)