Noah took the field this past Monday night for his first home soccer game of his senior season. As so many parents have pondered before me, I sat looking at his senior soccer pictures that were taken just a few days earlier and said to myself, “How did this happen so fast?” It seemed like just a couple of years ago that Noah and Caleb were running onto the soccer fields together, on the same Optimist Club team, ready to take on whatever opponent came their way. I guess you could say that this journey seemed especially fast for Zack and I, as Noah came to our family just a few days before his 5th birthday. What we missed out on during his first four years of life, we have tried to make up for over the past 13 years.
When Noah took the field this past Monday, it wasn’t here in Oldham County. He didn’t take the field as an OC Colonel, but rather as a Jaguar, representing North Laurel. Noah went home, to Laurel County, and yes, the rest of us are still here. Why and how?
When we felt God leading our family away from London so that Luke could receive the appropriate therapies he needed for ASD (see previous blog posts for how God made this clear), we knew the sacrifice that meant for our children, especially the older kids. Out of all of our children, Noah definitely was the most opposed to moving, and we totally understood where he was coming from. He had been at North Laurel since 7th grade with the same friends and soccer teammates. We were asking him to leave his friends, soccer teammates and church youth group during a very pivotal time in his life. Kind and well-meaning family, friends, and even coaches offered to let Noah stay with them, as to not interrupt his school and sports life, but Zack and I felt it was very important our family make this move together. Needless to say, our decision caused some major friction in our relationship with Noah, but with time, lots of talks and prayer, we worked through those issues, and Noah actually began to show some excitement about the new opportunities our move presented him.
During his Junior year, he did very well in his classes at OCHS, and made friends at school and at church. He especially enjoyed playing club soccer for LouCity, and he started working at Kroger and enjoyed working hard and earning money. Most importantly, we saw Noah mature and his heart soften in ways that we had hoped and prayed for. His interactions with us as his parents and his siblings were more kind and gracious . We also noticed a greater interest and sensitivity to the things of God. We were, and are, very thankful for the ways in which Noah has grown. But, despite all these positive changes, several times this past year, I felt as though I could almost sense Noah’s sadness. He tried to mask it for the most part, but a mom just knows. So, I wasn't terribly surprised when several months ago, Noah brought up the idea of moving home for his senior year. I think it is natural for parents to have a desire to give their children good gifts, after all, our Heavenly Father desires the same for us. But sometimes what we want and what is best for us aren’t the same, and that’s where God given wisdom and discernment comes in. In my heart, despite the pain and sadness I knew it would bring me, I wanted to give Noah this tremendous gift of returning home... but I knew there was much to consider. Was this decision something that would honor God? Would it hurt our family? The goal of our parenting has always been to help our children grow in holiness, not necessarily happiness. Would this decision help Noah in that regard? What would we be sacrificing allowing him to move home? And last, and what should be least and probably not even matter at all....what would people think?
The most difficult aspect to accept would obviously be the time away from Noah and the time lost with Noah, during arguably one of the most important and special years of his life and school career. The thought of that alone made both Zack and I feel a pit in our stomach. Beyond that, we grieved for our other kids- we knew the little guys would miss their big brother. Watching Noah interact with Luke, Levi, and Eva over the past year had truly brought so much joy. Emmie and Eden, though slow to admit it, would miss playing XBOX with their big bro and going over to the soccer fields to kick the ball around. And finally, Caleb and Noah. They had been together the longest- how would their relationship be affected? In a more practical sense, Noah was a big help to our family- he helped Zack with the yard and took his siblings to practices, etc. No doubt our family would not be the same- in many ways and for many reasons.
We spent several weeks talking about what the decision would mean for everyone and praying through what to do. There were lots of late night discussions, talking through different scenarios and questioning motives. And of course, some tears- especially from me. We spoke with both of our parents, and from the beginning, they both offered their homes to Noah, which was amazing and so gracious. They too, had witnessed the tremendous growth in Noah’s life, and they knew how much this meant to him.
In the end, we decided to give Noah what we truly consider a gift- to live away from his family and with my parents, and to finish his senior year at home. Zack and I have certainly had our doubts as to if we made the right decision, and to be as honest and transparent as possible, I have doubts as I type this blog post. We've already had to make a few adjustments and have worked through some issues. We’ve never been long distance parents before. It’s a strange dynamic, because Noah’s not “on his own” yet (like when a child goes to college), but he’s also not here with us physically. We already deeply miss Noah. We missed his first soccer game in London, and realistically, we will miss many more games this year than we will see, simply because of logistics. Thankfully my parents and Zack’s parents and other friends and family will be there to support him. I will miss hearing him tell me how his first day of school went, what friends are in his classes, and what he thinks about his teachers. I’ll miss warming up his dinner for him when he comes in from practices, games, or work, and having a quick chat with him while he eats. I know he is being well cared for and loved in the home of my parents....but it’s just not the same.
So, that’s “the why”. The “how” was also pretty complicated. In order for Noah to re-enroll as a Laurel County student, we had to grant partial custody to my parents, as this is who Noah would be living with. A simple Power of Attorney or Educational Guardianship/Custodian order (or whatever it is called) would not suffice. Technically, my parents had to sue us to gain partial custody of Noah. What that meant for us practically is that we all had to meet with an attorney and sign paperwork that the attorney completed, granting partial custody to my parents. So, if anyone reads the Sentinel Echo and noticed that in the legal section my parents sued Zack and I.....that’s what that was about, lol. After that step was completed, we were able to enroll Noah. Once enrolled, they were able to complete everything necessary to get him eligible to participate in athletics. His eligibility literally came back hours before his first game...right on time. Shew. When I called him that afternoon and told him he could play, he let out a vivacious, “Let’s go!” and I could hear my parents cheering in the background. I only wish I could’ve told him in person.
Though we miss Noah, we truly are excited for him and anticipate a great year for him. You can’t help but notice his upbeat attitude and extra pep in his step since returning home. I pray God will guard and guide him every day.
In other news, here are some quick updates on the rest of the kiddos....
This spring, Eden was invited to participate in competitive gymnastics at a Junior Olympic gym called Champion Gymnastics. She trains 6 hours a week and has been working very hard. Her competitions will begin this fall. She was also recently asked to share some of her story in a book by local author Judith Victoria Hensley. In the book she shares in her own words how God has faithfully been her help. It is truly a treasure to read and Eden's heart and passion for God and others shines through. If you’re interested in checking it out, I know it will inspire and encourage you. Here is the link to the book on Amazon:
Emmie is playing with the junior varsity soccer team this fall instead of running cross county. We are very thankful that her collar bone has completely healed and she has been cleared for all activities. She also took a very active role in helping with our garden this year. She did a large part of the work, and she makes sure to tend to our garden every day. As Emmie grows and matures, God has molded her into a beautiful servant and I love seeing her heart for others.
Luke is doing incredibly well in all of his therapies. In occupational therapy, they are working to strengthen Luke’s core and on basic tasks such as kicking and being able to catch a ball. In speech therapy, they are working on the “w” questions (who, what, when, where, why) and helping Luke formulate very simple answers to these type of questions. Currently, Luke will answer yes/no questions, but the “W” questions are a bit more challenging for him. In his ABA therapy, which he attends every afternoon, they are focusing on helping him learn to initiate age appropriate play/communication, something he has never really done in the past. He is learning to participate in small social groups, circle time, and is even playing games with other students at therapy. We are so proud of his hard work and progress in this area. He continues to amaze us with his ability to read and write (and with such amazing penmanship!) and his new favorite skill to practice is skip counting. He has had a great summer.
Levi has become such a big boy over this past year. After his two hospitalizations in March, his asthma has been mostly well controlled- there have been a couple of nights where we thought we might end up in the ER, but thankfully he responded to his emergency inhaler and we were able to keep him home. He is very active, loves to play with Matchbox cars and loves when his neighbor friends come over to play outside. He has the funniest personality and his vocabulary has exploded- sometimes I just like to sit and talk with him. He definitely keeps us on our toes, and I can’t imagine a child more full of love and life than Levi!
Eva is running all over the place now and jabbering up a storm- she can say a few words pretty clearly- ball, bottle, outside, please, uh-oh and oh-no, and slide just to name a few. She loves to be in the presence of her siblings, and I love watching her smile as she interacts with them. She has the most fun and sweet temperament, and we truly are so thankful God gave us this baby girl. She has completed our family.
Something really special has been able to watch the interactions between Luke, Levi and Eva. In the past, Luke really struggled to acknowledge any of his siblings, let alone interact with them. To see him smile at Levi and Eva, jump on the trampoline with them, play alongside them- though these are small steps, they are wonderful, and we are so thankful for what God has done.
This summer our pastor has preached through a number of different Psalms. A recurring theme that the Lord has brought to my mind and heart from these Psalms is the beauty of dwelling in the presence of the Lord. There is joy in this life and eternal security in knowing God. For the believer, God is our refuge, now and forever. May this be my prayer, and the prayer of my family, now and always.
Psalm 84
How lovely is your dwelling place,
Lord Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, Lord God Almighty;
listen to me, God of Jacob.
9 Look on our shield,O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 Lord Almighty,
blessed is the one who trusts in you.
As I finish this post, I know that many precious people in our community back home are mourning tragic losses of family and friends. I want them to know that we are keeping their families close in prayer, and asking God to be so near, and to provide a supernatural peace and comfort to them.
