Wednesday, July 29, 2009

One Year Ago Today...

Getting ready to see Caleb for the first time!! Our first pictures.......
Still has that great smile!
One year ago today I was sitting at my desk at work- it was a very busy day, and lunch time had finally arrived. Zack was eating lunch with me that day. I usually always answered the phone, but for some reason, I didn't get to it quick enough this particular time. Debbie, my boss, said there was a phone call for me. Even though we were expecting our referral at any time, it didn't even cross my mind that this could be the call! I picked up the phone and hear a sweet voice on the other line- it was Terra from America World!!! This was the call! I went to find Zack and told him who was on the line- he couldn't believe it either! I put the call on speaker phone, and we listened to We were both shaking! Then, we turned around to the computer to see a picture of our son! What an amazing and exciting day that was!! Of course, we didn't know at that point that it would be 5 more months before we would actually be able to hold him in our arms. That was a difficult time. But God sustained us in so many different ways. We received so many great pictures and updates each month from AWAA and other families. Wow- what an amazing journey it was, and continues to be!
We celebrate this wonderful child! It is hard to believe it has already been a year since we first saw him- before you know it, it will be a year since we brought him home!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Loving This Boy.....

Loving this boy….we are doing this more and more each day. Loving his smile, loving his laugh, loving his funny faces, his great dancing skills, the way he sleeps, the way he reaches for us to give us a kiss, and yes, even his cry….Praise God! He is so good.

Over the last six months we have seen such a transformation in Caleb, but perhaps the bigger transformation has occurred inside of us. We were both shell shocked to say the least when we returned home with Caleb, especially me (I wrote about our first month here) . I was in “survival mode” for quite some time, doing what I had to do to get through each day. Most people who know Caleb would think that loving him would be natural and easy. He is so happy, loving and fun. Yet, for whatever reason, many of you who know me or follow this blog know that this was not the case for me- as hard as it is for me to say, loving my son did not come natural or easy at first. I can honestly say that I have searched my heart about this exact matter and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that adoption had nothing to do with it- in other words, I am quite sure that even if I had carried a baby in my stomach for nine months and they looked and acted just like me- I still would have had trouble with the emotions being easy and natural. How do I know this? Through the very difficult realization that I was and still am a selfish and prideful person. Through the very difficult realization that I was and am still in need of much grace- grace I thought I didn’t need until I became a mother. Yes, becoming a mother, more than anything, has shown me the depth of my need for God, and how on a daily basis I need His love, grace and mercy if I am to be the mother that He wants me to be. This is truly something that I can not do on my own. I have learned that throughout the last six months. It is only through Christ that we can rightly love others, and I only want Caleb to know the kind of love that God is, that God gives…. I pray that I may show him this love every day.

I truly take so much joy in being a mother, especially being the mother of Caleb Samuel Caldwell. It is such a privilege. It is a huge responsibility, but one that I gladly and humbly approach with the help of God and my family. In just a week or so we will celebrate the one year anniversary of receiving our referral for Bedlu. That was all he was known by then, but he is known by Caleb Samuel Caldwell now, and loved deeply by all who know him….especially his mommy .

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Celebrating the 4th....and Caleb Turns 19 Months Old!

This past week Caleb turned 19 months old! He is getting taller every day and he continues to bring so much joy to our lives! As you can see from the pictures below, he is full of energy and so much fun. We had a great time celebrating Independence Day with Zack's parents and family. Caleb had such a blast playing with his new car and playing on the playground. He also loves playing in his tent, which seems to have found a permanent dwelling in our guest bedroom for now. Enjoy the pictures!