One year ago today I surely thought someone had made a
mistake. Either Zack and I had incorrectly heard the voice of God calling us to
adopt our third child, a daughter from China, or (and I know this will sound
blasphemous, but it is how I felt a year ago today) God had led us to the wrong
child. This is what I was thinking one year ago today in a hot, crowded
building in Nanning, China.
In this hot and crowded building, a screaming, kicking,
biting, spitting, (and everything else you could imagine) adorable three year
old little girl was experiencing a tremendous amount of grief, fear, and anger
as she watched her only caregivers walk out a door to never return. She was left with two strange looking white people,
and she was not happy. I won’t recount the experience that we all encountered
the next few days (you can read it in the blog if you are interested ;), but
let’s just say it was filled with lots of crying (by everyone), being confined
to our hotel room, and lots of prayers, prayers, prayers. Those first few days
with Emmie I was convinced that our lives would never again be the same. And
one year later, I have found that I am right. Because of the blessing of a
precious girl named Emmie Grace Caldwell, our lives have been filled with more
joy, love, laughter and excitement than we could have ever imagined, and our
lives will never be the same.
I do want to share with you all the strides that Emmie has
made, but what I wish I could communicate to you more
than anything is how loving and sovereign God is, and how He has designed
adoption to be the process that unites children and families. I am convinced of
this now more than ever.
Emmie finished 8 months of preschool this past May. She
started with a very, very hesitant spirit, but finished absolutely loving
preschool. She has learned a tremendous amount and is speaking English now,
though still with a cute Chinese accent. Most people still can’t understand what she says, but her family can, so that
works out well J
She will be starting speech therapy when she returns to preschool in the fall.
Her personality and the affection she shows to her friends
and family are beyond what we could have ever imagined those first weeks in
China and first few months home. She is caring, thoughtful, compassionate and
concerned. On the opposite end of the spectrum, she also has plenty of attitude
to go around and says some of the most hilarious things and has some of the
most expressive faces. Things are never
boring around our home!
She loves her church, and especially her friends and
teachers she has come to know. She is always ready with a smile and hug to
greet everyone. Though her first few
months at church I could hardly leave her side, she now runs around the entire
church like she has been there her entire life. It is beautiful to see!
Her best friends are undoubtedly her brothers, Caleb and
Noah. They are her playmates, helpers, and of course the source of her greatest
frustration at times. I can assure you
they have a very normal brother/sister relationship! It has been challenging at
times to navigate the interactions between the three of them, and she and Caleb
have an especially challenging relationship at times. But overall their love
for one another always wins out….it just may drive everyone crazy in the
process!
I am honestly at a bit of a loss for words for what else to
say, for fear of sounding cliché…but here I go.
Being Emmie’s parents has kind of been like being the gardener of a very
fragile flower that was uprooted from its original garden, and placed in a
whole new land. It has taken lots of care, cultivation, pruning, and attention.
It has taken lots and lots of help from the “Master Gardener”. It has taken
patience as we have passed through different seasons, and with the changing of
each season we have experienced new growth, and new challenges. We have seen this fragile flower blossom into
a strong, vibrant, confident, and beautiful flower, now at home in its new
garden and with its new caretakers. Emmie’s
Chinese name means “beautiful/lovely flower”. And that is truly what she is.
I am so inexpressibly
thankful that we didn’t give up, and that Emmie didn’t give up on us. The
thought of what our lives would be like without this little girl is too
terrible for me to imagine. And yet one year ago, sitting in our hotel room, I
was quite certain, somewhere along the line, a mistake had been made. Turns
out, I was the mistaken one! Thank God
for the prayers and support of our family and friends, and for God’s guidance,
grace, comfort and peace during those first few days.
God was, is, and will
always be in control and sovereign even if we don’t feel it, or at times don’t
even want to believe it. God always finds a way to work for the good for those
who love Him (Romans 8:28), and are called according to His purpose. As we have found, that doesn’t always mean
the “working’ is easy, fun, or what we might have imagined or planned for, but
it is always for the good.
Which leads me to my final point- Adoption is good! It is
soooo good! Adoption is hard and
challenging and painful at times. But adoption is good, because it is what God has
chosen to use to unite children with families. Families that can give children
the love they were created to have! If
you need convinced of this, look up James 1:27 for the definition of what “true
religion” is. Read the parable of the “Sheep and Goats” in Matthew 25 and see
who Jesus identifies with.
As I type this post,
at this very moment, I could show you the pictures of thousands of children
around the world, and here in the USA who are waiting, just like Emmie, Caleb,
and Noah all were, just like I was at one time, to be adopted. They are waiting
for someone to give them the love that only a family can. I am beyond thankful
for the care and attention all my children were given in the orphanages and
transition homes they lived in before coming to their forever homes, but
nothing can replace the God created role and relationship of a family.
I know what you are thinking. It is scary. It is risky.
There are no guarantees. And that would be a 100% true statement, at least from
our experience. Every adoption we have been scared at times. Every adoption we
have had to take some type of risk. And every adoption we signed papers
releasing agencies and governments from lots of guarantees. It is a step of faith. And there is no way
around that!
But here is another 100% true statement: If we, the Church,
the body of believers who claim to love God and love others, do not begin to do
something to bring orphans into families, an entire generation of children are
going to grow up without ever having known the love and meaning of a family. Just
think for a moment about all that being in a family entails and the meaning it
brings to our lives (the good and bad). Now imagine millions of children never
knowing anything of family life. This is the current reality of our country and
world if nothing changes in terms of orphan care/adoption.
So now I ask you- would you be willing to intentionally pray
for a time about how God would have you and your family to respond to the
orphans in our world?
Zack made a statement once that has stuck with me and it basically
went like this: It sometimes seems like couples and families that want to have
children and children that desperately need a mom and dad and a family are like
ships in the night, just passing one another by.
Why is this, when there is this beautiful thing called
“adoption”, that can unite families and children? May God lead us to trust Him and believe in
His word as we prayerfully examine this question.
To all our family (especially our parents, Glenn & Linda
Toney and Mark & Punky Caldwell) and to our amazing friends and family and
our awesome church family at First Baptist Church, London, we could not have
blossomed and grown as a family without your love, prayers, and friendship over
this past year. Thank you for all you have done for our family, and especially
for Emmie.
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