What a difference a year can make! I seem to remember writing a similar post two years ago, when Caleb had been home for one year. And here I am once again, amazed at what a difference this past year has made in Noah's life and in the life of our entire family.
A year ago Noah was a scared, sad child who could not even communicate with our family, other than nodding his head or pointing. A year ago I was a scared, doubtful mom who could not communicate with my new son other than nodding my head or pointing. We were kind of in the same boat, and we really didn't know what we were doing, all we knew is that God would somehow make a way for the child he had blessed us with to feel the love we wanted to show him. Little did we realize that Noah had even more love to show us! And now, a year later, L-O-V-E pretty much sums it up. It took time for all of us, as we thought it would. Love did not come "naturally" at first, and it did feel awkward for a little while- kind of like just going through the motions. But God did something supernatural and created a love in all our hearts for one another that is as true as any love I have ever known. A miracle, indeed.
Caleb will always be my "baby", as I guess every first child is to their parents. I can remember holding him for the first time, just like it was yesterday. His smile and personality won us all over from the start and still does! He will always hold that special part of my heart.
But Noah has taught me what it means to be resilient and strong. To put it in the words of singer/songwriter Sarah Groves, his courage asks me, what I am afraid of, and what I know of love? Just think about it- Here was a child who was living on the streets with no parents, he gets taken to an entirely new world with people he doesn't know and can't communicate with, he gets taken to doctors and poked and prodded, all the while not really knowing what is going on because of the communication barrier. He mourns for his home and all he ever knew, for his family, and again can't express it to the people he should be able to confide in- his parents. In my opinion, he had every right to be angry, distrustful, uncooperative, etc. I probably would have been, and sometimes, I was (that is embarrassing to admit....) all of the above. But instead Noah opened his heart, his mind, and his spirit to his new life and family. And none of us could have imagined what an amazing child he was all long! I know I am his mother, but when I think of all he has endured in ONLY SIX YEAR OF LIFE, I think he is the most remarkable child I have ever known. Sensitive, funny, kind and brave, and very loving, despite the loss he has experienced, God has restored his heart, and he is so able to love. We are so in awe that God would entrust Noah to us.
It seems fitting that Noah and Caleb both came home around Christmas time, as that first Christmas was the most awesome expression of God's love for us- that he would send His only Son to show us what love is all about, knowing that ultimately His son would suffer rejection and pain that no man has ever known. And that because of that, we would have the ability to be adopted into God's family. We CAN be called the children of God.
This Christmas we celebrate the miracle of the adoption of our two sons, and the amazing love that God has given us all for one another. But most importantly, we celebrate the miracle of the most precious baby to have ever been born. Our Saviour, Jesus.